Rat Space Program. Captain Picirk from RASA and the Planet of a Thousand Dreams.

She has balls. When prince charming on his unicorn told her, that she has no balls to leave him, she already knew, where to get them.

After NASA and SETI nerds found alien life forms on Moon and Mars they decided to keep it a secret. Most of them argued that about half of the humanity will try to sabotage future advancements into space.

Verne: People still believe that we collect rocks and all that Armstrong’s “Small step for a man, giant leap for mankind” story in staged Moon landing video.

Asimov: I was there. The first thing he shouted, after falling drunk from spaceship, was “Thailand is for noobs!”

Léo Taxil. La Bible amusante. The Amusing Bible.

Santa and mistress Claus. Love obedient children stuffed with candy and cookies.

Telescopic hook to pull out children from bed through chimney. Doll to lure in small girls. Toy car to lure in small boys. Sack for small children. Candy of death. Children cooking oven • Made in Netherlands.

Léo Taxil. La Bible amusante. The Amusing Bible.

Léo Taxil. La Bible amusante. The Amusing Bible.

She wanted to hunt few butterflies for her stomach but they were still in caterpillar stage.

Superfrog’s last attempt to strike down French cuisine genius.

Almighty Inspection and human bug.

Fastest Internet is in a power socket. Why leave it to professionals when you can try it yourself.

Invasion! Ass probes are coming!!!

Invasion! Ass probes are coming!!!

Almighty Arachnid. God of multitasking, creator of all six-tits alien races in the Universe, master of enlightenment through 60W bulbs.

Underceiling Lampsucker. Microscopic creatures “lampsucus underceilis” live everywhere. They feed by sucking out electricity from 60W–100W bulbs and with difficulty survive on energy efficient LED lighting. Single individuals can travel big distances on dust particles. There is also mass migration technique, which starts from gathering in big groups and accumulating fatal sucking amount in one spot. For standard incandescent lamp it is 69420000001 lampsucker in 1 square Mm. Lamp cracks and blows up. Explosion created by “Grand Lapmsucker Feast” instantly spreads colony around. If you noticed unusual rise in energy consumption, you can report this to local authorities or contact branch of German company “Hans mit Flammenwerfer” GmbH. In order to prevent further contamination, you will be isolated from public and put in special institution for careful observation. Your house will be investigated for suspicious substances and particles as well. Staphylococcus lampsuckus parazitalikus underceilicus stickus.

Mole Infantry. Horror of squirrels.

Divine monk Snuggles from temple of Jain. Ruthless karma of the Universe !!!

“King of the Forest” tournament’s grand finale, based on who will kill the most herbivores, ended instantly and unexpectedly for all three finalists, after they decided to start event in local Jain temple of rabbits and one of them accidentally stepped on ant.

All pet years in Vietnam flashed before eyes of divine monk Snuggles...

I love genetically modified food. With the right amount of divisive propaganda salad can make itself in no time.

Bible, Genesis 1. In the beginning... God created first day, night, morning and evening. God created... Sun and stars to shine on Earth... on third day.

Even beloved talking-sheep of Moses “Fluffy” understood that there is something fundamentally wrong with sequence of events in “Creation” hypothesis. She proposed idea that God, maybe, created Sun and then, after 8 minutes, there was first day on Earth. But Moses was unbendable in his “divine” knowledge and started to argue with passages about how sweet and pleasant for God is aroma of sacrificed in fire animals (Numbers 28:8, Numbers 29:2, Leviticus 23:18, ...). Only then “Fluffy” realized, how wrong she was all this time and agreed, that God definitely created Sun on third day, after He created day with night, morning and evening... that Earth is flat... with corners (Job 38:13, Isaiah 11:12, Revelation 7:1, ...) and Sun spins around Earth as well.

Day - unit of time - interval equal to 24 hours.
Daytime - period of time when Sun is above horizon.
Nighttime - period of time when Sun is bellow horizon.
Solar day - period of time from noon to noon.

Sunlight reaches Earth in 8.3 minutes. Day = 24 hours. Morning. Daylight. Evening. Nightlight. Earth. Sun.

Zipped PDF files with TRANSPARENT and BLUE backgrounds - 36 countries: Albania (Candidate), Austria (1995), Belgium (1952), Bosnia and Herzegovina (Candidate), Bulgaria (2007), Croatia (2013), Cyprus (2004), Czech Republic (2004), Denmark (1973), Estonia (2004), Finland (1995), France (1952), Germany (1952), Greece (1981), Hungary (2004), Iceland (Candidate), Ireland (1973), Italy (1952), Kosovo (Candidate), Latvia (2004), Lithuania (2004), Luxembourg (1952), Macedonia (Candidate), Malta (2004), Montenegro (Candidate), Netherlands (1952), Poland (2004), Portugal (1986), Romania (2007), Serbia (Candidate), Slovakia (2004), Slovenia (2004), Spain (1986), Sweden (1995), Turkey (Candidate), United Kingdom (1973)

The moment, when Isaac realised, that his father loves God more than him. ( Bible: Genesis: 22 )

God: Kill him, if you love me, and messiah will born from your seed.
Abraham: Come closer my son and I will show you mysterious ways of God.
Isaac: Dad, wtf ?!! Does mom know about this ?!! Gasoline.

Abraham with Isaac and mysterious ways of God

Abraham: Prepare for God’s love, my son.
Isaac: Dad, WTF ?!!

Abraham was very good in the eyes of God. He even wanted to kill his own son for God.

Genesis, chapter 22, lines 9 to 10. Then they came to the place of which God had told him. And Abraham built an altar there and placed the wood in order; and he bound Isaac his son and laid him on the altar, upon the wood. And Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.

Luckily, Isaac was saved, unlike daughter of Jephthah. Jephthah sacrificed her to God in Book of Judges, chapter 11, lines 30 to 39.

Abraham with God and promises about messiah from the seed.

Therefore, God promised to Abraham, that from his SEED will born Messiah - Jesus Christ.

Genesis, chapter 22, line 18. In your SEED all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice.

God with Isaac and repeated promises.

Later God repeated His promise to Abraham's son Isaac.

Genesis, chapter 26, lines 4 to 5. And I will make your descendants multiply as the stars of heaven; I will give to your descendants all these lands; and in your SEED all the nations of the earth shall be blessed; because Abraham obeyed My voice and kept My charge, My commandments, My statutes, and My laws.

Saint Paul and his “Big Seed” theory. Abraham. Big Seed Theory.

Even Saint Paul fell for God's lie.

Galatians, chapter 3, line 16. Now to Abraham and his SEED were the promises made. He does not say, “And to SEEDS”, as of many, but as of one, “And to your SEED”, who is Christ.

Joseph and Mary with God. God’s love was stronger than His promises.

Don’t disturb holy insemination process !!!
Joseph: God, WTF?!!!

How God repaid Abraham in the end? 90 years old Abraham's offspring Joseph was engaged with 12 years old Mary. After that, God inseminated Mary with His “Holy Spirit”, committing sin of lie to Abraham and Joseph, and sin of adultery by inseminating Joseph’s fiance Mary.

Matthew, chapter 1, line 18. Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus Christ was not from SEED of Abraham's offspring Joseph, as God promised, but from SEED of God.

GENEALOGY OF JESUS BY MATTHEW: Abraham • Isaac • Jacob • Judah • Pharez • Hezron • Ram • Amminadab • Nahshon • Salmon • Boaz • Obed • Jesse • David• Solomon • Rehoboam • Abijam • Asa • Jehoshaphat • Jehoram • Uzziah • Jotham • Ahaz • Hezekiah • Manasseh • Amon • Josiah • Jeconiah • Shealtiel • Zerubbabel • Abiud • Eliakim • Azor • Zadok • Achim • Eliud • Eleazar • Matthan • Jacob • Joseph ... whoops! Joseph God + Mary = Jesus

Abraham, Mary, God, Joseph.

Führer, Devil, 12 diciples, Jude, Jesus, Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, Elizabeth, Roman soldiers, God, cats.

Angels, Gabriel, Jesus, God as Volcano, Sun.

Quotes from the Bible.

PNG 12 MB • 28x20cm 600dpi

PNG 4 MB • 15x10cm 300dpi

PNG 4 MB • 15x10cm 300dpi

ZIP 5MB (Certificate Hell.ODT) You can edit ODT file with “LibreOffice” (“Microsoft Office” alternative).

SOURCE: maps.met.police.uk/access.php?area=MPS

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